So today I turn 42. People get so freaked out by aging. It seems unreal to me that I am 42 years old. In my mind, in my inside I am no age at all, all ages at once.
When I think of my age, I see an accomplishment, something to be proud of, to be celebrated. Think of all those who didn't make it to see my age, all the life not lived, the feelings not felt, the things undone. I may not be have lived every moment of my life to the fullest, but I glad to have the chance to make every day count.
That having been said, it is crazy to suddenly see myself as my parents once were. All these people I have known since they were children are suddenly looking like and sounding like those parents I remember from when we were growing up. Activities, hobbies, ailments, and celebrations are those from my youth only now we are the ones with wine in our hands.
And yet, when we gather, the years fall from our faces and I can still see those footloose and fancy free children we once were. I see the kindergartener who was once my delight and torment (why wouldn't you take turns?). I see old crushes, old rivals, old joys, old hurts and they are mellowed and rounded by age, softened with the distance of time. Best friends and giggling summer evenings are still so present when we gather.
I feel lucky to have made it to 42, life is too precious to be taken for granted or to be disdained. I will celebrate every moment of my years and look forward to many more. I will celebrate every moment I have with those that I love, cherish every second I have to be in their lives.